Assume that everybody is trying to help you, and in turn help everyone else. This doesn’t have to be giving advice to your partner and as a new practitioner that is probably not helpful! Instead work with your partner and give appropriate resistance and reactions based on their skill level, size, strength and age. We are all here to help each other get better. Training hard and rolling can fire up emotions at times, so keeping this in mind is important. In general, matching your partner's pace is a good idea. Remember slow makes smooth, smooth makes fast.

Don’t care about “winning” the spar. Everybody taps or gets caught. It’s fine. If you get your guard passed and you end up in a terrible spot, don’t think of it as “losing” — think of it as a chance to work on your survival and escapes. This also means trying not to stall. It’s important to work on our positions of control, but if you know for a fact that your partner can’t escape your side control or open your closed guard, don’t hold them there for five minutes. That’s of minimal benefit to either of you. Instead, maybe let them recover guard and work on your passing, or open your guard and attack. There’s a time and a place to work control, but generally this won’t be with people you already know you can hold down.

Of course, there’s a time and a place to go competition speed. That’s necessary, too, even if you don’t plan to compete! However be sure to be on the same page as your partner if you’re going to train as if it were a competition.